This is Hacker Public Radio episode 3,942 for Tuesday the 12th of September 2023.
Today's show is entitled, ReHow to Make Friends.
It is hosted by some guy on the internet and is about 13 minutes long.
It carries a clean flag.
This summary is, scoty replies to plot his show how to make friends.
Hello and welcome to another episode of Hacker Public Radio.
I'm your host, some guy on the internet.
And right now the landscapers are outside, so I don't know if I'll be of it even keep this
episode or not, because I don't know how much of the machinery you'll be of it here, but
I'm going to be responding to glad to show how to make friends.
It is an excellent show, I enjoy it very much, and I'm going to link to it in the description
or the show notes.
I think that the word friend, it holds a lot of meaning, right?
It's like a variable that can hold different meaning based on who is applying.
And to easily discuss this, I think that we need to shave off a few of the different values that
can be stored in the variable.
We can keep the response here, somewhat limited, because I don't want this to turn into a
two-hour show of me just rambling all over the place.
But first thing first, I'd like to limit the conversation to just online friends, right?
Because real-world friends, they're just way too many variables there.
Too many things to consider, so online will be a lot easier to limit it.
And then I'd say online without webcams, so you can be using a voice-over IP situation
where you're chatting in the chat room like a mumble, or you just be typing, you know, text.
So when you want to make friends, but all you've got at your disposal is the black and white
text and the ability to chat.
How do you make friends then?
And do you also consider the idea that the person you would like to be
your friend?
Do you consider the fact that they do have the option to reject?
Right, you may want to be friends with them, but as it was mentioned, they may only wish to
consider you a colleague in this project.
Maybe they've been burned before, had bad experiences with making friends online,
and they're currently in a cool-down period where they're just not interested in making friends
at this time.
You see, lots of outside variables.
One of the things we have to factor in is no one can really tell us who we consider to be a friend,
right?
So I can consider a lot to the be a friend.
I can consider canfall and to be a friend, Dave Morris.
Argers have need to, D&T, you know, I just consider everyone to be a friend.
We've all collaborated in some form or fashion, you know?
Neither of us has done anything to sort of warrant suspicion,
and there's been plenty of time to allow this interaction to cure,
so we'll be safe to say that if they, if they haven't exposed themselves to be
the dark phantom waiting to, I don't know, he crush our dreams of friendship.
If they haven't done it by now, they're maybe they're not going to do it.
So we hang the title of friend around their next, and then we all collaborate
merely from this point forward.
Now that is from one perspective, I have not considered rather not a fieldy exact,
say a way which is kind of funny.
And possibly because it doesn't really require me to consider it, right?
I'm very much happy with my vision of it, right?
It's kind of like when you're playing a video game,
and one of the characters in the world of the video game
is kind in polite and offers you things.
Well, you don't really consider that that's just the way the developer created the character,
right? Like you don't, you don't consider all of that. No, no, you just consider the nice
gestures. And you kind of, if an enemy were to attack that guy, you would protect him.
You would draw your sword or whatever you have, and do it you must to ensure they're
safety because they were kind to you. But because we're human beings,
it is nice to know, isn't it? It's really nice to be able to think that the person you
consider a friend is the same about you, right? Like that the feeling is mutual.
But that also comes with the deep burn, you know, the stinging agony of them saying,
no, I don't think so. So you'd have to either live in this land of unknowing
where you're happy with considering them friends, or you can go out on a limb. You could risk it all.
Actually, there's no real risk in it at all. If they say no, you can still continue living
with the idea that there's still friends. But having known the answer, right?
I once heard a saying that there are many things a wise man would wish to be ignorant of.
Or something like that, I'm sure I'm but drink it, but this will be one of them if it turns out
to be no, right? Because now, it'd be more difficult to return to that belief that we're all friends
after you've heard the words or read the text, no. And then what do you do when you see no, right?
When when you're being crushed to a singularity by an old, what do you do then? Do you query
further? Do you de-request elaboration? But why not? We've been so close all this time.
Or do you remain silent, allowing the awkward silence to further compress you into nothingness?
Well, these are all good questions. I suppose we're going to have to figure it out one of these days,
right? Because we have a real debacle in our hands. And I would approach this a lot like
men's health. We currently do not discuss it enough. You understand? There are many things we live with,
but we do so silently. And for men, especially, you know, I would include women into this, but I
have lived most of my life as a man. So I feel comfortable speaking for men, even though you'd
have to subscribe willingly to the rest of this statement. I cannot opt you into it, but I feel
like men are a little bit easier going when it comes to friendship, right? Like, we're not really
considering too much. If there's work to be done in someone's willing to join you, I mean, that's
a very good path to friendship right there. Men can even become friends even after fighting.
They're men, I've thrown fists at and we've become friends afterward. We may not talk on a phone
every single day, but when we do, it's always a grand time. Truth be told, I think we should consider
less of feelings and things whenever, considering friendship, simply because friendship is
companionship and it makes everything better, doesn't it? When you're lifting a heavy weight
and someone joins you, that is now a better experience. Why be nervous about making things better?
I think that it is foolish. I think that you should just be eager to ask someone to help you,
right? This is heavy and you look like you're willing to help. Please join me.
This will be much better for the both of us. There's a good chance you need it out of the way,
just as badly as I do. So if we both get it out of the way, we're both be the better because of it.
So I think we're considering friendship online at least. I think that it should be easy.
Simple. I think you should be very upfront, forthcoming. Just, I mean, right out there on the table,
just like you were like five years old, Ken mentioned it in the community show, right? I
think, well, was it Ken mentioned it? Maybe it was one of the mentioned, like when you were kids,
it was simple. You just ask, would you like to be my friend, right? Like it was just simple.
Very, very, I was about to say stupid example, but that may have came all wrong. So it's very simple.
And what if the person says, no, we'll think about it today, just like everything else we're doing.
When you're creating an open-source project, and you put the word out there that you're looking
for contributors, people to join in and help with carrying this project to completion.
Well, when people say, no, you don't just give up on your own project, do you?
No, you're still happy for the others that say, yes, and you still converse with them.
And you still keep that open invitation out there for everyone else that will say, yes,
you ignore the ones that say, no, because there's a good chance. They may be nervous.
They may not accept this lifestyle as openly as the rest of us. They may need a little time,
right? Maybe they're new to online. Again, when all you have is text a lot of the time,
you don't even know who you're dealing with. This could be like a five-year-old
on the other end, right? You know, we really don't know who we're dealing with on the other end.
Well, maybe not five, but you get the point. So I say consider less, do more.
After all, what's the worst that can happen? They say no. Now, that just about wraps up the show.
I am going to do some more on the topic. I just wanted to give a response to it right now,
and I'm planning on creating a friendship application. That's right.
I'm going to create a, first of all, I'm going to look for one online to see if there's already
a template or something of one that's currently out there. Then I'm going to overthink this to the
maximum. And then I want to make a show on it, right? So that it can be something fun and
interesting that we can play around within the future. But it is going to be like the legit
friendship application. You're hanging that out there with a, I don't know,
on your next cloud instance or something like that. When, when you meet somebody new, you go,
oh, you sound like an interesting fellow. Here, let me send you something right. You shoot
them a link. They open it up and it's the friendship application. We're back to being children again.
Would you like to be my friend? They check a few boxes. Maybe even put in a name in there.
You know, you can add in what are the things that we all discussed today out there like pronouns
and other things that you probably want to include in there all of that jazz. It just put it in there.
They only want to matters as yes and no. But the rest is important, right? Like if it's yes,
then yeah, you'd want to consider somebody other stuff. But if it's no, I know biggie.
I'll send it to him again and then about another week. But I'm not done with this topic. I
am going to give more on it. First thing first, I'm going to go talk with a few of my friends
and bring them in on it. So I'm going to go, well, I actually want to hear more from women on it.
Because I got, I kind of feel like men feel the same way, right? This thing's heavy.
I need to get it out of the way so I can get by. Oh, look, this guy's coming to help me. He's
giving me a hand and he's helping just for no reason or maybe there's a reason. Maybe he too needs it
out of the way. When we had another, he's getting his hands dirty, helping me. Friend. Remember
now was that show or not a show. It was a movie where they did the thing, the claw. I think that was
toy story from not mistaken. The little aliens, they did that. They did the claw. That's what
that's what we do whenever we meet someone that's trained down. We do we look at them on
wallide. Friend. Super weird. But that's what makes it great. When you expose some of your,
some of your awkwardness to someone else, they should feel more comfortable about their own
sort of flaws. You know what I mean? No one's perfect around here. We're all just, well,
Lisa on hacker public radio, we're all just weirdos around here to be honest with you. But it's
where it's fun being weirdos. Though with that said, I'm going to go, uh,
tester a bunch of my other friends and try to get some responses. I know we have some women here in
HPR community. So, speak up. Tell us how women approach this thing. You know, I've given my
explanation about what I believe men be all about this subject. Again, they would have to subscribe
on their own to this. I cannot voluntarily involve them. But it's just my thoughts on it. Maybe
I'll grab Bumblebee and a few others that I know I'm going to run over there now and try to
drag them in on the subject. All right, be catching you guys in the next episode. Take it easy.
RAND
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